How Much Racism Is Enough?

What’s the threshold for feeling harassed?

Photo by James Eades on Unsplash

Recently, I talked to a friend about the resilience of children. They told me about a big move they’re about to make, and they were worried their child would not adapt well to the change. I jokingly told them that I was a well-adjusted adult, even after all the racism I confronted as a child when I moved to the United States from Mexico. And I expounded on that with my experiences with racism when I moved to Pennsylvania after college, and then again when I went to Washington, DC, for my master’s, and then more racism in the workplace after that.

My friend replied that “not everyone” has been racist to me, as if I shouldn’t be complaining… Or as if I was making a big deal out of the few instances of racism I experienced. This was the privileged stance of my friend: a White, Christian, US-born citizen. It was as if there was some threshold of racism that needs to be passed before grievances can be aired, or before those grievances are legitimized.

Time For Introspection

Over the next few hours and days, I thought about that conversation. I wondered if there was a threshold for any kind of harassment or abuse, where we are to just “suck it up, buttercup” until the threshold is crossed. Once that threshold is crossed, we can complain. Only then can we ask for justice?

I thought about the lives of so many women in my life who experienced sexual harassment that morphed into assault. When in the continuum of that experience was it justified for them to say anything and complain? When did “boys being boys” turn into an assault, or a rape? I asked myself, what would I do if a boy at school harassed my daughter? Do I answer that “not all men” harass her, so she should ignore the guy and move on?

Nope.

I will be the first to admit that there are instances of racism and harassment where there have been genuine misunderstandings. Language is complicated and ever-evolving, so telling a joke from the 1970s at a meeting in 2024 might get you in trouble, even if you didn’t mean to cause trouble. Even if you are one of the kindest and virtuous people in the world. And that’s why God created human resources departments.